Stupidity at Sea

I know that the analogy of a 'train wreck' is widely overused, (particularly when discussing the night life of pop starlets and young Hollywood), but I've been stuck on a show for an entire season now. This show not only encapsulates the essence of the train wreck; it has also begun to redefine the train wreck.

Those of you who watch Animal Planet have probably seen commercials for Whale Wars. The previews present the show as a crusade against illegal whaling practices, with a bit of vigilante justice from a group of seaborne do-gooders and ecologists. After watching the show, it's far from that. I've found it to be a ragtag bunch of idealists with great intentions but without the single glimpse of a shred of common fucking sense. (Hey, they're extremists, so I'm using extreme language. These guys fire me up quite a bit.)

Quick premise: Japanese whaling fleets kill whales in the Antarctic Sea. The Japanese make mad stacks of cash selling whale meat for food and other products. There are international sanctions that prohibit killing too many whales, but the Japanese also claim to be doing research on the whales, such as following their migratory routes and studying their feeding habits. Enter the Sea Shepherds: A "militant" offshoot of GreenPeace, who will do whatever it takes to stop the Japanese from killing whales. They spun off of GreenPeace when they found the typical channels of protest to be too passive for their liking. With the help of donations from celebrities, (like Anthony Kedis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers), they were able to purchase a ship to actively chase down the Japanese whaling fleets.

They chase the Japanese whalers, then harass them with a variety of nonviolent methods. They throw bottles of buteric acid, (which smells horrible and is difficult to remove), and another substance which makes the decks of the Japanese ships slippery. They also attempt to deploy ropes to tangle the ships' propellers, thus causing the ships to stop. Wonderful, isn't it?

Well, here's where the common sense leaves the picture. After seeing the way the Sea Shepherds try to stop the Japanese, I'm not sure I see them as the good guys. Let me explain. Yes, I like whales. I don't think anything deserves to be harpooned and dragged about by a ship. I'm not a fan of people who profit from murder. (Sorry Colonel Sanders...) But there is no way that a whale's life is more important than that of a human being. There are so many unnecessary risks that are taken by these fools.

First and foremost is their equipment. The crew is untrained in inexperienced in some of the worst sailing weather on Earth. They are asked to perform dangerous tasks at a moment's notice by the ship's captain. In the first season, they deployed a small inflatable ship from the larger ship, which capsized and injured crew mates because of unfamiliarity with the crane that lowered the inflatable into the water. The inflatable ship was about to begin a buteric acid tossing run on one of the Japanese ships. Well, the mission didn't happen, because people got hurt. Whales died and people almost died. Not efficient if you ask me.

The most recent episode revealed a problem with their main vessel, The Steve Irwin. (Yes, it's named after the Crocodile Hunter... and they're helping whales. Go figure.) The hull of the Steve Irwin is not rated for collisions with ice... and they spend their entire time in the ANTARCTIC OCEAN. Seriously. If I was going to sail in the southernmost waters, I'd plan accordingly. Chances are really good that there is going to be icebergs. Maybe these idiots should've watched Titanic. That being said, they don't avoid ice. They often sail directly through ice fields, despite knowing that one good hit could sink their entire ship. And then how many whales could they save? None. Because they'd all be dead. Help wouldn't arrive if their boat sank for at least a few weeks. (Remember, they're in an inaccessible part of the world!)

The decision making of the senior crew is inexcusable. They have no regard for human life. When a storm surrounded their ship with ice chunks, they placed crew members in the lowest hold of the ship to bail out water if something breached the hull. Isn't that the LAST place anyone would want to be in that situation? Of course, they selected new crew mates to sink first, so that's not all that bad, right?

I'm all for conservation. And I've seen how horrible the process of harpooning a whale is. But it occurs to me that there must be a better way to stop whaling than what these morons are doing. It basically boils down to novices chasing blips on a radar screen, getting into unnecessary trouble, and having it all aired out on Animal Planet. I get so enraged when I watch this show. I can't imagine how much is wasted on gas, (for the main ship, the inflatables, and the helicopter they use), how much time is wasted, and how much bad publicity they generate for being idiots.

If you don't believe me, watch the show. Watch their careless actions. Watch the danger they get themselves into with their bad decisions. Then tell me... how many dumbasses have to die in order to save the whales through the Sea Shepherd method?