Stupidity at Sea

I know that the analogy of a 'train wreck' is widely overused, (particularly when discussing the night life of pop starlets and young Hollywood), but I've been stuck on a show for an entire season now. This show not only encapsulates the essence of the train wreck; it has also begun to redefine the train wreck.

Those of you who watch Animal Planet have probably seen commercials for Whale Wars. The previews present the show as a crusade against illegal whaling practices, with a bit of vigilante justice from a group of seaborne do-gooders and ecologists. After watching the show, it's far from that. I've found it to be a ragtag bunch of idealists with great intentions but without the single glimpse of a shred of common fucking sense. (Hey, they're extremists, so I'm using extreme language. These guys fire me up quite a bit.)

Quick premise: Japanese whaling fleets kill whales in the Antarctic Sea. The Japanese make mad stacks of cash selling whale meat for food and other products. There are international sanctions that prohibit killing too many whales, but the Japanese also claim to be doing research on the whales, such as following their migratory routes and studying their feeding habits. Enter the Sea Shepherds: A "militant" offshoot of GreenPeace, who will do whatever it takes to stop the Japanese from killing whales. They spun off of GreenPeace when they found the typical channels of protest to be too passive for their liking. With the help of donations from celebrities, (like Anthony Kedis from the Red Hot Chili Peppers), they were able to purchase a ship to actively chase down the Japanese whaling fleets.

They chase the Japanese whalers, then harass them with a variety of nonviolent methods. They throw bottles of buteric acid, (which smells horrible and is difficult to remove), and another substance which makes the decks of the Japanese ships slippery. They also attempt to deploy ropes to tangle the ships' propellers, thus causing the ships to stop. Wonderful, isn't it?

Well, here's where the common sense leaves the picture. After seeing the way the Sea Shepherds try to stop the Japanese, I'm not sure I see them as the good guys. Let me explain. Yes, I like whales. I don't think anything deserves to be harpooned and dragged about by a ship. I'm not a fan of people who profit from murder. (Sorry Colonel Sanders...) But there is no way that a whale's life is more important than that of a human being. There are so many unnecessary risks that are taken by these fools.

First and foremost is their equipment. The crew is untrained in inexperienced in some of the worst sailing weather on Earth. They are asked to perform dangerous tasks at a moment's notice by the ship's captain. In the first season, they deployed a small inflatable ship from the larger ship, which capsized and injured crew mates because of unfamiliarity with the crane that lowered the inflatable into the water. The inflatable ship was about to begin a buteric acid tossing run on one of the Japanese ships. Well, the mission didn't happen, because people got hurt. Whales died and people almost died. Not efficient if you ask me.

The most recent episode revealed a problem with their main vessel, The Steve Irwin. (Yes, it's named after the Crocodile Hunter... and they're helping whales. Go figure.) The hull of the Steve Irwin is not rated for collisions with ice... and they spend their entire time in the ANTARCTIC OCEAN. Seriously. If I was going to sail in the southernmost waters, I'd plan accordingly. Chances are really good that there is going to be icebergs. Maybe these idiots should've watched Titanic. That being said, they don't avoid ice. They often sail directly through ice fields, despite knowing that one good hit could sink their entire ship. And then how many whales could they save? None. Because they'd all be dead. Help wouldn't arrive if their boat sank for at least a few weeks. (Remember, they're in an inaccessible part of the world!)

The decision making of the senior crew is inexcusable. They have no regard for human life. When a storm surrounded their ship with ice chunks, they placed crew members in the lowest hold of the ship to bail out water if something breached the hull. Isn't that the LAST place anyone would want to be in that situation? Of course, they selected new crew mates to sink first, so that's not all that bad, right?

I'm all for conservation. And I've seen how horrible the process of harpooning a whale is. But it occurs to me that there must be a better way to stop whaling than what these morons are doing. It basically boils down to novices chasing blips on a radar screen, getting into unnecessary trouble, and having it all aired out on Animal Planet. I get so enraged when I watch this show. I can't imagine how much is wasted on gas, (for the main ship, the inflatables, and the helicopter they use), how much time is wasted, and how much bad publicity they generate for being idiots.

If you don't believe me, watch the show. Watch their careless actions. Watch the danger they get themselves into with their bad decisions. Then tell me... how many dumbasses have to die in order to save the whales through the Sea Shepherd method?

RW09

This past weekend was Reunion weekend at the college. It's all hands on deck as 1500 alumni, friends and spouses converge on the campus from all parts of the world. I'm typically a "behind the scenes" guy, (with my database skills! Jealous?), but Reunion Weekend brings my inner social butterfly. (I've been told that I have social skills as well.)

Since I work with computers, it is often assumed that I'm well equipped to handle anything that is plugged into a wall. So Reunion Weekend means I'm the AV "OH CRAP IT'S BROKEN FIX IT" support guy. And I don't mind that at all. I helped setup multimedia presentations, slideshows, and did a bit of troubleshooting with people's personal laptops. All that stuff is well and good, but the part that makes the weekend is the people that come back. (And consequently, people are what make my job so enjoyable.)

Each Reunion Year has Landmark Classes: Always the 10th, 25th, 40th, and 50th Reunion classes. There are also Generational Clusters, which are specific reunion classes, and one year ahead and before them. (For example, this year's 45th Generational reunion was made of the classes of 1964, 1963, and 1965.) Each reunion and reunion cluster has its own dinner. This year, I staffed the 20th Generational, (classes of 1988, 1989, and 1990.) I can't believe how nice people are, and how willing they are to just talk and talk and talk. Conversations weren't strained, or akward. It was just an all around nice situation. However...

There are also some problematic situations. For example, our entertainment this year was a band comprised of 3 staff members and 1 alumnus of the college. The person next to me thought their time on stage was a perfect time to talk over the volume of the band and tell me what she thought of each person that was on stage. She happened to have a very strong opinion towards one of the band member's wives, which she screamed VERY LOUDLY... as said wife was sitting no less than 5 feet away. Personally, I think our dinner guest was way out of line, and had a totally skewed perspective. In fact, I think she might have had a little crush on the band member, which became more and more apparent as more wine flowed...

There was also a choir reunion. I know, I know... all the preconceived notions about choir and "band geeks" and all of that. But it was nice to see the reunions turning out to support the choir concert. The choir returned and put in a solid 2 days of practice, and really put on a great show. I'm not a graduate of this college, but I really got chills when I heard them perform the Alma Mater. Wonderful work by all involved with the concert.

But I think I was most impressed by my Co-workers. (Well, most of them.) There are a lot of people who did some very gritty work and put in some really long hours. And they're the people that probably won't get any recognition from the people that were having a great time at Reunion Weekend. They were hidden in storerooms, behind piles of programs and paperwork, and generally running around like mad people. But it's because of these people that everything was so successful. Yes, the President did a great job, (and people raved about him all weekend!), but the true stars of the weekend are the coordinators. If you happen to read this, you should be getting back some of those 16+ hours per day that you put in. GO TAKE A NAP!

And only 363 more days until Reunion Weekend 2010...