Taco Flavored Politics...

So, everyone is obsessed with the political happenings right now. It's not uncommon for my day to be going along its routine, and to have a political topic just pop in my head. (Maybe some of it is comprised of leftovers of my college days when I majored in political science...)

After a long day of work, I came home and had a craving for something with a southwestern/mexican flair. After raiding the pantry, I found a Mexican meal-in-a-box, which gleefully proclaimed that it involved 3 easy steps. How can you argue with easy Mexican food after a long day at work? Easy. You can't. (I guess I could've driven to Taco Bell too, but whatever.)

So I gather the materials as requested by my box-o-mexicana, and prepare to follow the easy steps to making my layered taco masterpiece. All of a sudden... BAM! Politics! I'm suddenly thinking about the Middle East peace process. And then it occurred to me... the bastards who make my tacos should be the ones to solve the world's problems.

Just think about it: 3 easy steps to Middle East peace. Amazing. Why make it difficult?

So I read on as I dreamed of Jews and Palestinians hugging in the streets. Easy step #1: Brown the meat, drain, and add 1 cup of water and seasoning packet. Stir constantly until most of the water is absorbed.

Hold on you Old El Passholes: That's not step 1. That's like 6 steps in one. What kind of BS are you pulling here?

Step 2: Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Layer a 9" pie pan with tortillas, and then 1/2 cup of meat mixture, alternating tortillas and meat mixture. Top with Cheese sauce.

What the hell guys? You said this was easy! Sure, the cheese is squeezable, but now I have to balance these freakin' tortillas on uneven piles of taco meat. That's not easy. It's like playing meat Topple. Or meat Jenga.

Step 3: Bake in oven for 15 minutes. Layer with toppings.

What toppings? Where the hell are these toppings coming from? Lettuce? I didn't see that crap in the original requirements! Salsa? You mean you couldn't include that in the package I just opened?

Then I realized: The people that made my tacos ARE the people running the planet.

Step 1: Make the Jews and Palestinians stop fighting.
Step 2: Give everyone who wants their own land a piece of land somewhere
Step 3: Profit!

Damnit.

I ate my tilting taco layer shitstorm. It didn't look anything like the one on the box and was even less satisfying than I had hoped. Politics ruin everything.

I immediately felt sick afterwards. And wouldn't you know it! BAM! Thoughts in my head about US border policies.

Why can't the elections be over already?