More Movie Madness:

I received a phone call while working a few days ago. I have a rather masculine voice, so the question I received threw me off quite a bit.

I picked up the phone, gave the typical phone greeting, and was met by one of the craziest questions I've heard.

"What movies do you recommend for a 10 year old girl?" Ok lady. I'm a man. I have no idea what a 10 year old girl likes to watch. I told her that I had no kids, younger siblings, or idea what a 10 year old girl likes. I tried to help her, but she was rather unresponsive. "You mean you have no idea what my daughter would enjoy moviewise?"

Well, considering I don't know your daughter's interests, I'd have to say "no". Does she like Barbie? We have some of those movies. Maybe she's into Hannah Montana. We have those too. Maybe she likes sports. Bend it Like Beckham? Gracie? Seriously, I have no clue.

The lady was seriously bothered, (and she told me so), that I had no bearing of what 10 year old girls enjoy. Quite frankly, she should be happy that someone my age doesn't hang out with 10 year old girls. But instead, she chastised me for not knowing what her daughter enjoys in a movie. I'm such a crappy employee.

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A good ol' boy and his wife came into the store, intent on renting some movies. Some people are adventurous when they enter the store, and set off on their own to browse the shelves. Others decide to cut right to the front counter, name a bunch of movies they're interested in, and make the employees, (busy employees, at that), run around and grab the movies for them. Of course, I'm always willing to help out, but sometimes people are just too lazy to gain my sympathy. This guy was one of those people.

He took the pamphlet of the month's new movies, and just started to point to them. "I need this one, and this one, and this one... And hurry up, I have things to do." I explained that I could point him in the right direction, and that there were other customers to serve. (At this time, a line was forming to check out, and I wasn't about to leave the front of the store unsupervised...)

I told him how our store's alphabetical shelving system worked, and pointed him in the direction of all his movies. He refused to get them, instead wanting me to get all of the movies he wanted. I told him I'd do it after I was finished helping the customer I was with. 5 minutes and 15 customers later, he was still waiting for me to get the movies. I complied, got all 10 movies he wanted, and went to the register. He then proceeded to bitch about how slow I was, and how I wasn't willing to help him, despite the huge stack of movies I had before him. I responded by allowing him to rent 1 movie of his choice for free. (This totally made him happy.) So he thought long and hard until the smoke came out from under his plastic mesh trucker hat... He wanted an older movie... called...

Aren't-it-gettin.

What? Sounds like a Larry the Cable guy movie, doesn't it? I asked him for the name again. Second time: Aren't-it-gettin. Then I asked what it was about. He said it involved a big rock full of oil. Any clues readers? I asked who the stars of the movie were. He said Die Hard and the guy that was married to J-Lo.

Oh. Aren't-it-gettin. Or, as normal people say it: Armageddon. You know, where the giant meteor is going to hit Earth, but Bruce Willis and Ben Affleck blow it up. Then they play the Aerosmith song and Liv Tyler cries. Yeah. That's what he was talking about.

He chose that movie for free, which I got for him. For the record: Armageddon is a $1 movie. The others I offered to give him for free were $2.75. He insisted he get the $1 for free.
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A lady wanted a movie, really, really, really bad... and couldn't find it on the shelves. "My kids want to watch Rat-killers. I know it's out, but you don't have it."

"Rat Killers?", I asked. "Are you sure that's the name?"

"Oh, maybe its under 'D' for 'Disney's Rat-Killers'."

Or maybe its under 'R' for Ratatouille. The story about a rat that wants to become a chef... that gets released this week, and is not yet in stores.

I can't wait to see a Disney Movie called "Rat Killers." It'll make the death scene in Bambi look like when Prince Charming kissed Cinderella.

Maybe 10 year old girls will be into Disney's Rat Killers.