Family Video is nice enough to warn people of those potential annoyances that might come from renting movies. For example, for those with regular, squarish TV's, Family Video is sure to place a "WIDESCREEN" sticker on movies that retain their aspect ratio from the movie theater cut of a film. (If you didn't know, movies in the theater are rectangular to fit the formatting of the screen. Many films are adapted to Full Frame, which chops off the sides of the film, making it more square to fit conventional screens. Watching a widescreen movie on a full frame tv usually leads to those black bars on the top and bottom of the screen. That's why some people have purchased widescreen TV's, so the black bars are eliminated, and movies can be seen just like they were intended to.)
Family video also places stickers on adult content. Some movies, although rated R, contain content too disturbing for younger audiences. Some movies are marked "MUST BE 18 TO RENT", signifying that the movie is a bit extreme for younger audiences.
Finally, with the increase of releases from foreign markets, Family Video has labeled subtitled movies with an appropriate sticker: "THIS FILM IS SUBTITLED."
Very rarely do all these stickers make an appearance together, but it does happen. The crossover from these stickers brought me to a very interesting conversation the other day at work.
A lady called on the phone with what she believed to be a stupid question. (I am usually a firm believer that there is no such thing as a stupid question, but this job has proven me wrong quite a few times.) She recently rented a movie, and was upset that she grabbed a subtitled version of the movie. She wanted me to go to the shelf and grab the English version of the movie. What movie was it?
Pan's Labyrinth. Which deals with the rise of the Fascists in Spain in 1944. And was directed by a guy with the first name Guillermo. From Spain. All the actors? Spanish. "Do you have a version of the film where everyone isn't speaking Mexican?"
I explained the movie, the circumstances surrounding the film, and the nationalities of those responsible for producing the film. Quite frankly, she didn't want to have to read while watching a movie. After all, that's why they make the movie version: So you don't have to read the book.
I hung up the phone, and hung my head.
Monday, October 29, 2007
Sunday, October 21, 2007
A Flash of Corporate Brilliance
Don't let the name Family Video fool you. This operation isn't a mom-and-pop business anymore. In fact, Family Video is now the 3rd largest video rental store in the US. That's big money, big spending, and big planning. With Halloween quickly approaching, corporate decided to do everything it could to maximize profits by capitalizing on the holiday.
So that means that movies get pulled from their regular places, redesignated, and repriced. Know that copy of "8-Legged-Freaks" that you got in the 2-for-$1 section the other night? Now its $1 and you get it for 2 nights instead of 5. See what they did there? (Regardless of how much you pay, that movie is horrible. Putting that movie in the "Halloween Favorites" section was strike #1 in my book...)
Besides horror, what else could they focus their energy into... candy! Right? Wrong. Candy is all the same. Nothing but the regular king-sized candy bars and air stuffed boxes of movie candy. (That's strike #2. Gotta push the candy.)
And for our big strike #3... They've introduced a healthy alternative to sugar on Halloween. I mean, what kid, in his or her right mind, wants to get candy by walking door to door on the last day of October? All children under 12 HATE candy and are very conscious of their dental health. So what does the hip person hand out to all those Halloweeners? Boo Bucks.
Yeah, I said it. Boo Bucks. (Oh, you thought I was talking about Halloweeners.)
Boo Bucks are essentially gift cards that are to be given out on Halloween instead of all that evil, evil sugary goodness. Hyper kids will be a thing of the past once they get a hold of Boo Bucks. Gone are the days of fun sized bars and Necco Wafers. Parents don't have to inspect Boo Bucks for razor blades or staples before their children enjoy them! Once the ghouls and goblins get their Boo Bucks, they simply visit Family Video and exchange the gift certificate for any $1 movie of their choice! How cool is that? What kid DOESN'T WANT BOO BUCKS!
Oh, did I mention that these handouts are $1 a piece? So, if you have 100 trick-or-treaters, you'd shell out $100 on these gift cards. (Oh, plus the labor you'll exert the next day in wiping egg off of your house and putting out the flaming bags of poo on your porch.) There is, however, a special deal on these Boo Bucks: Buy 20, and get 5 free. (Offer limited to one per person, please.) So, the 100 Boo Bucks would only really cost you $95, so its a real steal, right? (Wal-Mart candy: 50 pieces of assorted chocolates for $2. And you don't have to explain to each and every kid what that piece of plastic is that you just dropped in their plastic pumpkin pail.)
Call me a purist, but Halloween is an excuse to eat lots and lots of stuff that's bad for you. Kids are allowed to spend the next few months in a sugar coma for dressing all spooky. And that's the way its supposed to be. I hate to imagine if this catches on, but would kids eventually just get plastic cards for local stores? "Look mom! An L.L. Bean Dismal Dollar! I can afford to get my initials sewn on my backpack now!"
Way back in the day, Halloween used to be a day for appeasing the spirits of the dead before All-Saints Day. Then it turned into a day for eating candy and celebrating the childlike wonder of the sugar rush. Don't let it evolve further into a day of handing gift certificates to people you barely know. Isn't that what Christmas Office parties are for?
(As a side note, gift certificates for Halloween are also sold by Wendy's, McDonald's, and many other fast food locations. Didn't the kids do enough work to get to your door? Now you're making them walk to redeem what you gave them. What ever happened to instant gratification?)
So that means that movies get pulled from their regular places, redesignated, and repriced. Know that copy of "8-Legged-Freaks" that you got in the 2-for-$1 section the other night? Now its $1 and you get it for 2 nights instead of 5. See what they did there? (Regardless of how much you pay, that movie is horrible. Putting that movie in the "Halloween Favorites" section was strike #1 in my book...)
Besides horror, what else could they focus their energy into... candy! Right? Wrong. Candy is all the same. Nothing but the regular king-sized candy bars and air stuffed boxes of movie candy. (That's strike #2. Gotta push the candy.)
And for our big strike #3... They've introduced a healthy alternative to sugar on Halloween. I mean, what kid, in his or her right mind, wants to get candy by walking door to door on the last day of October? All children under 12 HATE candy and are very conscious of their dental health. So what does the hip person hand out to all those Halloweeners? Boo Bucks.
Yeah, I said it. Boo Bucks. (Oh, you thought I was talking about Halloweeners.)
Boo Bucks are essentially gift cards that are to be given out on Halloween instead of all that evil, evil sugary goodness. Hyper kids will be a thing of the past once they get a hold of Boo Bucks. Gone are the days of fun sized bars and Necco Wafers. Parents don't have to inspect Boo Bucks for razor blades or staples before their children enjoy them! Once the ghouls and goblins get their Boo Bucks, they simply visit Family Video and exchange the gift certificate for any $1 movie of their choice! How cool is that? What kid DOESN'T WANT BOO BUCKS!
Oh, did I mention that these handouts are $1 a piece? So, if you have 100 trick-or-treaters, you'd shell out $100 on these gift cards. (Oh, plus the labor you'll exert the next day in wiping egg off of your house and putting out the flaming bags of poo on your porch.) There is, however, a special deal on these Boo Bucks: Buy 20, and get 5 free. (Offer limited to one per person, please.) So, the 100 Boo Bucks would only really cost you $95, so its a real steal, right? (Wal-Mart candy: 50 pieces of assorted chocolates for $2. And you don't have to explain to each and every kid what that piece of plastic is that you just dropped in their plastic pumpkin pail.)
Call me a purist, but Halloween is an excuse to eat lots and lots of stuff that's bad for you. Kids are allowed to spend the next few months in a sugar coma for dressing all spooky. And that's the way its supposed to be. I hate to imagine if this catches on, but would kids eventually just get plastic cards for local stores? "Look mom! An L.L. Bean Dismal Dollar! I can afford to get my initials sewn on my backpack now!"
Way back in the day, Halloween used to be a day for appeasing the spirits of the dead before All-Saints Day. Then it turned into a day for eating candy and celebrating the childlike wonder of the sugar rush. Don't let it evolve further into a day of handing gift certificates to people you barely know. Isn't that what Christmas Office parties are for?
(As a side note, gift certificates for Halloween are also sold by Wendy's, McDonald's, and many other fast food locations. Didn't the kids do enough work to get to your door? Now you're making them walk to redeem what you gave them. What ever happened to instant gratification?)
Friday, October 19, 2007
Maybe the Disks aren't Defective...
I realize that spending $10 on rented movies, taking them home, and not having them play sucks. I would be upset if I was in that situation. And sometimes The Buffer can't always fix them. But sometimes there are customers who take things a little too far.
Enter the "control freak" customer. Today, a guy came in with a disk that didn't work. However, instead of letting us know about it, he sat on it for 5 days and returned it when it was due. What took so long? His cataloging of exactly where the skips and freezes took place. Inside the plastic case with the movie was a list of the chapters that didn't work, and the timing where everything went wrong. (No joke. It was probably a serious undertaking to get this list made.) He then requested that I clean the disk from "chapters 8-12 and the first 5 minutes of chapter 14." I offered to clean the entire disk, but he said that we shouldn't mess with 1-7, 13, and 15-18 because they all worked fine. So only clean 8-12 and parts of 14. I looked at him blankly, put the disk in the buffer, and started it. The scratches went away. AND THEN HE DIDN'T WANT THE MOVIE BACK! I'm stupefied that someone would put that much work into something and not want to see the parts that he missed.
He later came back up with more movies, and we gave him a few for free. He damn near mandated how we were to scan the movies in the system. He handed them to us, one at a time, and made sure to have us tell him how much the movie was and how long he would have it for. The entire process took 20 minutes. His total bill? $5.49. Ugh.
Another star of the defective circuit was the man who rented "Star Trek: The Voyage Home." STTVH is a 2 disk set, meaning that one disk is the full-length feature and the second is the special features. There aren't many movies that we package with the special features, but this just so happens to be one of the exceptions. He came in, movie in hand, and started complaining before he had an employee's attention. (Luckily, it was my attention. Go me.) He started babbling, and I'm pretty sure that the only words I caught were "...not working...DVD...face of the case..." So I used the famous method acting technique.
Method acting involves putting yourself in the same state as the person you're dealing with. That means similar posture, facial expressions, tone and cadence of speech. By "stepping into his shoes" I determined something key to our interaction. This guy was utterly and totally drunk. (It probably helped that he smelled like a bar floor.) I got him to slow down and explain what happened.
He rented the movie, no doubt excited to delve into the "Final Frontier." His enthusiasm, (or inebriation), led to him putting BOTH DISKS INTO THE DVD PLAYER AT THE SAME TIME! He described the whining sound that was being made as he tried to jam both disks into the machine. (FYI: Most DVD players will only fit one disk. If you try to put two in at the same time, the auto-closing door will open or knock one of the disks out. Don't try it though, because that's not how its supposed to work.) He claims that the disks were stuck together from something the employee put on them. He pointed to a small, white bottle that was by our disk cleaner. He said that the liquid inside was a glue that made the two DVDs look like 1. I read the label on the bottle to him: Anti-Friction/Anti-Static solution for DVD cleaners. (Explain how that made them stick together, Mr. Wizard.)
Well, after both DVDs were in the player, he realized that there was a sticker saying there were 2 disks on the case. But he couldn't find the second disk! So he looked and looked and it wasn't there. So he called the store to find out where his second disk was. The employee claimed that it was in the case when he left the store, so he'd better find it. Well, he tried to open the DVD player, which was now jammed with 2 movies. It wouldn't open. He tried to pull it open with his finger, a paperclip, and finally a screwdriver. In fact, he pulled the entire face off of his DVD player. For the amount of force he exerted, the DVDs were surprisingly unharmed. I was trying to wrap my head around how, in a drunken state, this guy could use a screwdriver to carefully, yet forcefully, remove 2 DVDs from a jammed player, resulting in a damaged DVD player, but not a damaged DVD.
I told the guy that I'd just credit his account for the movies that were stuck together. But he wanted to keep talking, and decided to close the distance between us, just in case I wasn't able to properly hear him. Or smell him. (I think it was whiskey.) He repeated the story he just told, and I repeated my offer. His response? "That's better! Let's do that!" I gave him his credit, and he went on his way. I almost clocked out at that very point, but decided that no interaction could possibly be worse than that one.
I'm not ruling out a new champion for tomorrow. Anything can happen on a Saturday night.
Butchered Movie Title du jour: The Condamned. (Stone Cold Steve Austin's "The Condemned." Close, but just not correct enough.)
Enter the "control freak" customer. Today, a guy came in with a disk that didn't work. However, instead of letting us know about it, he sat on it for 5 days and returned it when it was due. What took so long? His cataloging of exactly where the skips and freezes took place. Inside the plastic case with the movie was a list of the chapters that didn't work, and the timing where everything went wrong. (No joke. It was probably a serious undertaking to get this list made.) He then requested that I clean the disk from "chapters 8-12 and the first 5 minutes of chapter 14." I offered to clean the entire disk, but he said that we shouldn't mess with 1-7, 13, and 15-18 because they all worked fine. So only clean 8-12 and parts of 14. I looked at him blankly, put the disk in the buffer, and started it. The scratches went away. AND THEN HE DIDN'T WANT THE MOVIE BACK! I'm stupefied that someone would put that much work into something and not want to see the parts that he missed.
He later came back up with more movies, and we gave him a few for free. He damn near mandated how we were to scan the movies in the system. He handed them to us, one at a time, and made sure to have us tell him how much the movie was and how long he would have it for. The entire process took 20 minutes. His total bill? $5.49. Ugh.
Another star of the defective circuit was the man who rented "Star Trek: The Voyage Home." STTVH is a 2 disk set, meaning that one disk is the full-length feature and the second is the special features. There aren't many movies that we package with the special features, but this just so happens to be one of the exceptions. He came in, movie in hand, and started complaining before he had an employee's attention. (Luckily, it was my attention. Go me.) He started babbling, and I'm pretty sure that the only words I caught were "...not working...DVD...face of the case..." So I used the famous method acting technique.
Method acting involves putting yourself in the same state as the person you're dealing with. That means similar posture, facial expressions, tone and cadence of speech. By "stepping into his shoes" I determined something key to our interaction. This guy was utterly and totally drunk. (It probably helped that he smelled like a bar floor.) I got him to slow down and explain what happened.
He rented the movie, no doubt excited to delve into the "Final Frontier." His enthusiasm, (or inebriation), led to him putting BOTH DISKS INTO THE DVD PLAYER AT THE SAME TIME! He described the whining sound that was being made as he tried to jam both disks into the machine. (FYI: Most DVD players will only fit one disk. If you try to put two in at the same time, the auto-closing door will open or knock one of the disks out. Don't try it though, because that's not how its supposed to work.) He claims that the disks were stuck together from something the employee put on them. He pointed to a small, white bottle that was by our disk cleaner. He said that the liquid inside was a glue that made the two DVDs look like 1. I read the label on the bottle to him: Anti-Friction/Anti-Static solution for DVD cleaners. (Explain how that made them stick together, Mr. Wizard.)
Well, after both DVDs were in the player, he realized that there was a sticker saying there were 2 disks on the case. But he couldn't find the second disk! So he looked and looked and it wasn't there. So he called the store to find out where his second disk was. The employee claimed that it was in the case when he left the store, so he'd better find it. Well, he tried to open the DVD player, which was now jammed with 2 movies. It wouldn't open. He tried to pull it open with his finger, a paperclip, and finally a screwdriver. In fact, he pulled the entire face off of his DVD player. For the amount of force he exerted, the DVDs were surprisingly unharmed. I was trying to wrap my head around how, in a drunken state, this guy could use a screwdriver to carefully, yet forcefully, remove 2 DVDs from a jammed player, resulting in a damaged DVD player, but not a damaged DVD.
I told the guy that I'd just credit his account for the movies that were stuck together. But he wanted to keep talking, and decided to close the distance between us, just in case I wasn't able to properly hear him. Or smell him. (I think it was whiskey.) He repeated the story he just told, and I repeated my offer. His response? "That's better! Let's do that!" I gave him his credit, and he went on his way. I almost clocked out at that very point, but decided that no interaction could possibly be worse than that one.
I'm not ruling out a new champion for tomorrow. Anything can happen on a Saturday night.
Butchered Movie Title du jour: The Condamned. (Stone Cold Steve Austin's "The Condemned." Close, but just not correct enough.)
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Tools for Fighting the War on (Video Store) Terror
Reader,
You may or may not believe this based on the descriptions of the clientele I've supplied previous to this post... but, some of the renters don't respect or take care of the materials they borrow from our place of business! Can you believe that?
While restocking items it is commonplace to find a DVD that is so scratched that it simply will not function in a DVD player. Even the most moderately scratched disks will freeze in certain areas or skip around, which varies the sound or picture quality.
Of course, as the movies stay in the store longer, the more prone they are to abuse and eventually not working. So all those classic movies you treasure? Guess what. They're not going to play when you get them home. But never fear... there is still hope...
We have a buffer. The buffer looks like a computer tower and sounds like a lawnmower engine. A small drawer slides from the bottom of the unit, and the DVD is placed upside-down on the spindle. As the drawer is pushed in, the cycle is set and the machine whirrs into action. 30 seconds later, all fingerprints and scratches are a thing of the past. Amazing, no? (The machine only costs a mere $4500.)
This thing is so good at cleaning movies that I feel obligated to clean all Lindsay Lohan films for the protection of all renters. So far, no disease outbreaks related to her movies. It's that good.
I'm reminded of an old adage whenever I clean a DVD for a customer. Something about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure... So, instead of the company spending $4500 for a disk cleaner, plus hundreds of dollars a month for cleaning solution, plus paying the labor for all those employees that have to stand there and monitor the machine... why not just cut it off at the source?
Family Video has a policy that doesn't fault the customer for damages to rented materials regardless of the state they are returned in. Just today, we received a "Transformers" DVD that was scratched beyond playing capabilities. (Transformers came out TUESDAY. 2 DAYS AGO!) But, we couldn't confront the soul renter of the disk. Instead, we had to clean the disk and hope that it plays the next time someone rents it. If it doesn't play, then we mark the DVD in the system as "damaged" and send it back to our corporate offices.
Wouldn't it be better to check the new disks as they come back, (since you have to open the case to insert the retaining pins anyways), and charge accordingly to those who blatantly damage a disk? This could help to alleviate the thousands of dollars that are lost in damaged merchandise and in giving refunds to customers for faulty movies. (They're VERY giving to people who have rented damaged goods.) By holding people accountable, perhaps people would get the message that they need to take care of other people's things.
I've seen some very extreme examples, and was shocked that no action was taken. We've had returned movies that were cracked in half, scratches that penetrated and peeled off the colored label, and some that have had chunks broken out of them. But apparently, that's acceptable. One guy returned a DVD that had his name scratched into the bottom of it. IT SAID HIS NAME ON THE BOTTOM OF THE CD WHEN HE CAME TO COMPLAIN THAT IT DIDN'T WORK! Yet, we didn't charge him. Even worse, we gave him another movie for free.
I understand that the customer comes first, but if this were a car rental company, all the cars would be junkers the second time they came off the lot. In the grand scheme of things, everyone wants to rent movies that work. If I wanted to see an error message on my TV, I'd put a toaster strudel in my DVD player. The cleanup would be horrible, but the effect would be the same. Is it really too much to ask to handle something with care for 5 days and return it in the same condition it was in?
Thank goodness we've got that buffer... To temporarily fix those problems one DVD at a time...
You may or may not believe this based on the descriptions of the clientele I've supplied previous to this post... but, some of the renters don't respect or take care of the materials they borrow from our place of business! Can you believe that?
While restocking items it is commonplace to find a DVD that is so scratched that it simply will not function in a DVD player. Even the most moderately scratched disks will freeze in certain areas or skip around, which varies the sound or picture quality.
Of course, as the movies stay in the store longer, the more prone they are to abuse and eventually not working. So all those classic movies you treasure? Guess what. They're not going to play when you get them home. But never fear... there is still hope...
We have a buffer. The buffer looks like a computer tower and sounds like a lawnmower engine. A small drawer slides from the bottom of the unit, and the DVD is placed upside-down on the spindle. As the drawer is pushed in, the cycle is set and the machine whirrs into action. 30 seconds later, all fingerprints and scratches are a thing of the past. Amazing, no? (The machine only costs a mere $4500.)
This thing is so good at cleaning movies that I feel obligated to clean all Lindsay Lohan films for the protection of all renters. So far, no disease outbreaks related to her movies. It's that good.
I'm reminded of an old adage whenever I clean a DVD for a customer. Something about an ounce of prevention being worth a pound of cure... So, instead of the company spending $4500 for a disk cleaner, plus hundreds of dollars a month for cleaning solution, plus paying the labor for all those employees that have to stand there and monitor the machine... why not just cut it off at the source?
Family Video has a policy that doesn't fault the customer for damages to rented materials regardless of the state they are returned in. Just today, we received a "Transformers" DVD that was scratched beyond playing capabilities. (Transformers came out TUESDAY. 2 DAYS AGO!) But, we couldn't confront the soul renter of the disk. Instead, we had to clean the disk and hope that it plays the next time someone rents it. If it doesn't play, then we mark the DVD in the system as "damaged" and send it back to our corporate offices.
Wouldn't it be better to check the new disks as they come back, (since you have to open the case to insert the retaining pins anyways), and charge accordingly to those who blatantly damage a disk? This could help to alleviate the thousands of dollars that are lost in damaged merchandise and in giving refunds to customers for faulty movies. (They're VERY giving to people who have rented damaged goods.) By holding people accountable, perhaps people would get the message that they need to take care of other people's things.
I've seen some very extreme examples, and was shocked that no action was taken. We've had returned movies that were cracked in half, scratches that penetrated and peeled off the colored label, and some that have had chunks broken out of them. But apparently, that's acceptable. One guy returned a DVD that had his name scratched into the bottom of it. IT SAID HIS NAME ON THE BOTTOM OF THE CD WHEN HE CAME TO COMPLAIN THAT IT DIDN'T WORK! Yet, we didn't charge him. Even worse, we gave him another movie for free.
I understand that the customer comes first, but if this were a car rental company, all the cars would be junkers the second time they came off the lot. In the grand scheme of things, everyone wants to rent movies that work. If I wanted to see an error message on my TV, I'd put a toaster strudel in my DVD player. The cleanup would be horrible, but the effect would be the same. Is it really too much to ask to handle something with care for 5 days and return it in the same condition it was in?
Thank goodness we've got that buffer... To temporarily fix those problems one DVD at a time...
A Few Movie Store Quick Hits...
Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday are always "Midweek Special" days. If someone gets a new release, then they get a $1 movie for free for 5 nights. (Great deal, right?) This now gives people an opportunity to butcher classic movies as well.
After informing a customer yesterday of the deal, he asked if we had a movie: "Chandler's List." You're probably well aware of it. Its the one with Matthew Perry running a factory with his friends during World War 2. Geez.
Also asked for: The Pianoist. Really.
***************
I was sharing stories with coworkers yesterday when I came across this story: A customer came into the store, absolutely livid with a movie in hand. The mother had selected a movie for her daughter's first ever sleepover. The movie of choice? "Cheerleader Massacre." Did I mention that her daughter was 7? She complained that no one had warned her that the content of the movie might be a little extreme for a 7 year old, (and her impressionable friends), and wanted a store credit for the oversight of the store's staff.
What do you say to that? The rating information is clearly listed on the back, as is the giant "R", for RESTRICTED. I've said it once, and I'll say it a million times, I don't have kids, and I don't want to take care of someone else's kids. I am not your "Baby's Daddy."
***************
A group of 5 came into the store yesterday, and proceeded directly to the business counter. (We have 1 counter at the store, and its where EVERYTHING happens. Therefore its the "Business" counter.) A lady, surrounded by her younger daughters, wishes to open a new account. I take her driver's license, and check to see if she has an existing account. She does. It has $5 in late fees, $4 in movies that were renewed over the phone that still weren't paid, and $56 in movies that were kept for over 30 days. (Meaning that they were listed as "stolen" to the account.) But, she wanted a new account. I told her about the items listed on the account, and her daughter, who was standing RIGHT THERE!, claimed that they were her movies.
The mother started into defense mode, claiming that she didn't rent movies very much. (So why was she starting now... maybe to let her daughter rent more movies...nah, that couldn't be it.) She claimed that she didn't add her daughter to the account and that she shouldn't be responsible for the stolen movies... and then the daughter started. The movies were stolen from her house, and she knew exactly which movies were listed. She named them, in a row, yet wouldn't accept responsibility for them. (She rented them, and was therefore accountable for them.)
You can imagine how this ended. Did they get to rent a movie? Ummm... no.
******************
You know that there's more to come. Indeed.
After informing a customer yesterday of the deal, he asked if we had a movie: "Chandler's List." You're probably well aware of it. Its the one with Matthew Perry running a factory with his friends during World War 2. Geez.
Also asked for: The Pianoist. Really.
***************
I was sharing stories with coworkers yesterday when I came across this story: A customer came into the store, absolutely livid with a movie in hand. The mother had selected a movie for her daughter's first ever sleepover. The movie of choice? "Cheerleader Massacre." Did I mention that her daughter was 7? She complained that no one had warned her that the content of the movie might be a little extreme for a 7 year old, (and her impressionable friends), and wanted a store credit for the oversight of the store's staff.
What do you say to that? The rating information is clearly listed on the back, as is the giant "R", for RESTRICTED. I've said it once, and I'll say it a million times, I don't have kids, and I don't want to take care of someone else's kids. I am not your "Baby's Daddy."
***************
A group of 5 came into the store yesterday, and proceeded directly to the business counter. (We have 1 counter at the store, and its where EVERYTHING happens. Therefore its the "Business" counter.) A lady, surrounded by her younger daughters, wishes to open a new account. I take her driver's license, and check to see if she has an existing account. She does. It has $5 in late fees, $4 in movies that were renewed over the phone that still weren't paid, and $56 in movies that were kept for over 30 days. (Meaning that they were listed as "stolen" to the account.) But, she wanted a new account. I told her about the items listed on the account, and her daughter, who was standing RIGHT THERE!, claimed that they were her movies.
The mother started into defense mode, claiming that she didn't rent movies very much. (So why was she starting now... maybe to let her daughter rent more movies...nah, that couldn't be it.) She claimed that she didn't add her daughter to the account and that she shouldn't be responsible for the stolen movies... and then the daughter started. The movies were stolen from her house, and she knew exactly which movies were listed. She named them, in a row, yet wouldn't accept responsibility for them. (She rented them, and was therefore accountable for them.)
You can imagine how this ended. Did they get to rent a movie? Ummm... no.
******************
You know that there's more to come. Indeed.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
Hair Care for the Fairer Sex
I'm very fortunate today. My wife has decided to take the day off to spend some time with me. Being as busy as she is, she also decided to do a few things for herself...which leads me to today's post.
I think one of the biggest differences between the sexes is how we approach certain things. One of the biggest areas is in how we get our hair done. Let's look at how my wife prepared for getting her hair cut.
This process started months ago. She researched the salons and beauticians in the area. She also spent time researching hair styles. Magazines around our house have bent corners and circled pictures to denote possible future hairsytles and colors. She called a salon, (after consulting with other women in the area), and made an appointment. (A one hour appointment.)
Today, (the day of the appointment), she woke up, took a shower, and fully did her hair. I'm talking shampoo, conditioner, blow drying, styling, hairspray. The whole 9 yards. She dressed up, looked at her magazines one more time, and left for her appointment.
How do I get ready for a hair cut? I crawl out of bed one day and realize that I look like one of the Beatles. (Yes, I am the Walrus. WOOOOOOOO!) So, I put on a hat, go to the barbershop, and get my hair cut. Straight to the point. My style? "Shorter." That's all there is to it. No bobs or layers or any of that weird stuff. Just shorter.
Then there's the post-cut process. I jump in the shower and wash the hair off of me. Then, I slap in some hair gel. Done. If its even, then its good for me. The most stress comes in discussing sports with the barber and avoiding having him rub his junk on the armrest. That's why I'm leery of short barbers.
Now for Kate, the mental aspect is much deeper. Hair is identity for a woman. Its everything. And one stray hair could spell disaster for the entire process. Going to someone unfamiliar is completely stressful. There's just a lot of questions to be answered, and they all are addressed at the same time once the cut is finished. Its one of the only times you'll see a woman cry from utter sadness and be extremely pissed at the same time.
And then there's coming home. The husband gets asked the question: "How do you like my hair?" Don't, for the love of God, ever, ever answer this question. The woman then needs time alone to play with the hair. To see how it moves and sits and everything. Dress-up ensues, to see how the hair accessorizes with shirts and earings and shoes. (Because I connect shoes with hair when I see someone... "Her hair and shoes don't match... whatever...)
So, from these comparisons I'd like to say just one thing... Lord, Thank you so so much for that Y chromosone. Amen.
I think one of the biggest differences between the sexes is how we approach certain things. One of the biggest areas is in how we get our hair done. Let's look at how my wife prepared for getting her hair cut.
This process started months ago. She researched the salons and beauticians in the area. She also spent time researching hair styles. Magazines around our house have bent corners and circled pictures to denote possible future hairsytles and colors. She called a salon, (after consulting with other women in the area), and made an appointment. (A one hour appointment.)
Today, (the day of the appointment), she woke up, took a shower, and fully did her hair. I'm talking shampoo, conditioner, blow drying, styling, hairspray. The whole 9 yards. She dressed up, looked at her magazines one more time, and left for her appointment.
How do I get ready for a hair cut? I crawl out of bed one day and realize that I look like one of the Beatles. (Yes, I am the Walrus. WOOOOOOOO!) So, I put on a hat, go to the barbershop, and get my hair cut. Straight to the point. My style? "Shorter." That's all there is to it. No bobs or layers or any of that weird stuff. Just shorter.
Then there's the post-cut process. I jump in the shower and wash the hair off of me. Then, I slap in some hair gel. Done. If its even, then its good for me. The most stress comes in discussing sports with the barber and avoiding having him rub his junk on the armrest. That's why I'm leery of short barbers.
Now for Kate, the mental aspect is much deeper. Hair is identity for a woman. Its everything. And one stray hair could spell disaster for the entire process. Going to someone unfamiliar is completely stressful. There's just a lot of questions to be answered, and they all are addressed at the same time once the cut is finished. Its one of the only times you'll see a woman cry from utter sadness and be extremely pissed at the same time.
And then there's coming home. The husband gets asked the question: "How do you like my hair?" Don't, for the love of God, ever, ever answer this question. The woman then needs time alone to play with the hair. To see how it moves and sits and everything. Dress-up ensues, to see how the hair accessorizes with shirts and earings and shoes. (Because I connect shoes with hair when I see someone... "Her hair and shoes don't match... whatever...)
So, from these comparisons I'd like to say just one thing... Lord, Thank you so so much for that Y chromosone. Amen.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Big Macs and the Married Man
During my 314th viewing of Evan Almighty, (which plays in a loop at our video store), something came over me. It was something primal, like the scent of prey dancing in the air. I was drawn to it and floated to it like a cartoon character to a delicious pie on a windowsill. (You've seen that cartoon, right? right?) On this particular night, the wind blew in such a way that even the smell of McDonalds' was appealing. (No, that doesn't mean that it was blowing away the scent of the dog food factory. Although, that's a good thing.) I couldn't resist, and as my shift ended, I jetted towards the drive-thru.
Everyone has been to McDonalds. You know what's on the menu: Burgers, cheeseburgers, chicken patty, chicken nuggets, fries, drink. That about sums it up. Still, it took me forever to decide on a meal. As I sat, drooling like a goon at a roided-up microphone, I noticed the green decorations all around the menu.
Its effin' Monopoly season.
I don't have many monsters, but if anything brings out my dark side, its Monopoly. It doesn't matter what size, shape, or form its in. Monopoly = Dominate. (Notice how they have the same number of letters.) To say that Monopoly makes me ruthless is an understatement. Quite frankly, I'm a mean, power-obsessed bastard with a large side of conniving son-of-a-bitch. I'm the kind of Monopoly player that cuts deals with people that land on his hotel to later make them land on Park Place with 2 hotels. And then I laugh. Then I total the net worth of all that person's ownings and find that its not enough to cover the amazing deficit. And then I laugh some more. That's why I choose the battleship token: accept no surrender, take no prisoners. (Mind you, I usually play with family too. Poor Kate...)
McDonalds' Monopoly is no exception. For massive efficiency and the most game pieces, I chose a large #1 extra value meal. A Big Mac, huge order of fries, and a drink big enough to soak my feet in. (Sweetened Tea, if you were curious.) I drove home, hellbent on peeling off those emerald green game tabs.
I got home and pulled like mad, chomping away at 56g of fat and a week's worth of sodium. My tabs left me 1 railroad short of $100, and 1 property away from $50k. The bar had been raised.
Cut to 2 nights later. I once again found myself working, when hunger hit me hard. It was 11 pm, and there were very few restaurants open at the time. Fortunately, Meadville has 2 24-hour McDonalds, so it was an obvious choice. As I left work, I turned right towards the drive-thru, and ordered my combo #1. Salty fries, fatty burger, skinny wallet. No railroads, no completed Monopolies.
Newton once said, "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." (Isaac, not Fig, for those unscientific folk reading this.) Newton was a great scientist, but he also would've been one hell of a Fast-Food dietitian. Eating the Big Macs has had a very tumultuous and very concentrated effect on my body. I'm glad that my stomach is looking out for me, but I can't say I'm happy with the way its expressing itself. Everything tastes like Thousand Island special sauce, and I can't quite hold anything down.
It seems that in this game of Monopoly, McDonalds has dominated me.
If you need me, I'll be doing some physical fitness to work off the 2240 calories, 118g of fat, and 2780g of sodium I ate over the course of TWO MEALS!
***************
In other news, the McBag o' Ice is a 10 pound bag of ice for $1. Some guy ordered 38 of them the other night, along with 38 double cheeseburgers. Isn't there a better use for $76 on a Saturday night?
Everyone has been to McDonalds. You know what's on the menu: Burgers, cheeseburgers, chicken patty, chicken nuggets, fries, drink. That about sums it up. Still, it took me forever to decide on a meal. As I sat, drooling like a goon at a roided-up microphone, I noticed the green decorations all around the menu.
Its effin' Monopoly season.
I don't have many monsters, but if anything brings out my dark side, its Monopoly. It doesn't matter what size, shape, or form its in. Monopoly = Dominate. (Notice how they have the same number of letters.) To say that Monopoly makes me ruthless is an understatement. Quite frankly, I'm a mean, power-obsessed bastard with a large side of conniving son-of-a-bitch. I'm the kind of Monopoly player that cuts deals with people that land on his hotel to later make them land on Park Place with 2 hotels. And then I laugh. Then I total the net worth of all that person's ownings and find that its not enough to cover the amazing deficit. And then I laugh some more. That's why I choose the battleship token: accept no surrender, take no prisoners. (Mind you, I usually play with family too. Poor Kate...)
McDonalds' Monopoly is no exception. For massive efficiency and the most game pieces, I chose a large #1 extra value meal. A Big Mac, huge order of fries, and a drink big enough to soak my feet in. (Sweetened Tea, if you were curious.) I drove home, hellbent on peeling off those emerald green game tabs.
I got home and pulled like mad, chomping away at 56g of fat and a week's worth of sodium. My tabs left me 1 railroad short of $100, and 1 property away from $50k. The bar had been raised.
Cut to 2 nights later. I once again found myself working, when hunger hit me hard. It was 11 pm, and there were very few restaurants open at the time. Fortunately, Meadville has 2 24-hour McDonalds, so it was an obvious choice. As I left work, I turned right towards the drive-thru, and ordered my combo #1. Salty fries, fatty burger, skinny wallet. No railroads, no completed Monopolies.
Newton once said, "Every action has an equal and opposite reaction." (Isaac, not Fig, for those unscientific folk reading this.) Newton was a great scientist, but he also would've been one hell of a Fast-Food dietitian. Eating the Big Macs has had a very tumultuous and very concentrated effect on my body. I'm glad that my stomach is looking out for me, but I can't say I'm happy with the way its expressing itself. Everything tastes like Thousand Island special sauce, and I can't quite hold anything down.
It seems that in this game of Monopoly, McDonalds has dominated me.
If you need me, I'll be doing some physical fitness to work off the 2240 calories, 118g of fat, and 2780g of sodium I ate over the course of TWO MEALS!
***************
In other news, the McBag o' Ice is a 10 pound bag of ice for $1. Some guy ordered 38 of them the other night, along with 38 double cheeseburgers. Isn't there a better use for $76 on a Saturday night?
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
This is just a reminder....
The part that everyone hates about movie rentals is the late fees. Its like a reminder that you did something wrong way after the fact. They've never really bothered me, until I was on the other side. In the past, as a customer, I've hated them as well, but accepted the fact that I had to pay for keeping something that wasn't mind for longer than we had agreed. For example, I paid $2.75 to borrow someone else's movie for 1 night. The going rate is $2.75 per night. If I return it late, I expect to pay for the extra night that I had it. That's part of the rules.
I really started to hate late fees when I stepped behind the video counter and started working as an employee. As a "friendly reminder" I have to regularly call those people with long outstanding videos. (I think its 10 days and up.) The objective is to get back the company property so that someone else can take it home and enjoy it. Plus, you don't want someone to borrow something of yours for $1 and keep it indefinitely. That's just taking advantage of the renter, and immoral.
I look at retail transactions in a very complicated light. By giving a company money, I'm engaging in a contract with them. Yes, its an unspoken contract, but a necessary one. In exchange for money, (which is indirectly my hard work in providing the people of Meadville with quality entertainment...), I'm getting some service or product that is high quality. (Yes, even at Taco Bell.) That means that I'll adhere to the terms and conditions of the company within reason, but won't overstep my bounds. At fast food places, that means that my food will be disease-free, tasty, and the appropriate temperature. Anything outside of that, and we're going to have words. Both sides should have expectations from the other member in the contract, and that's what keeps this crazy capitalism thing going.
Well, in the world of video renting, there are guidelines for how long you can rent movies. In our store, $1 gets you most movies for 5 nights. Any longer and you get charged. (An additional dollar for an additional 5 nights.) Fair enough, right? That's the agreement you enter into. We give you a movie for a period of time, you give us money. Not hard, right? Well, apparently it is for some people.
There have been an average of 30 calls per night for people with outstanding movies of a significant time frame. (Significant = 10 or more days.) This actually means that more than 45 calls have to be made, as the accounts have 2 phone numbers that can be used to try to contact the renters. Majority of the people who reach the 10 night plateau give false information or get their cell phones cancelled due to failure to pay the bill, (which the message is sure to inform us when we try to call.) But, once in awhile, we are able to talk to the culprit / culprits.
I called a woman last week and told her that her movies were 25 days late. She picked the phone up at the same time as the answering machine, so I'm sure that every word of our conversation was recorded. I told her who I was, and why I was calling. After late movies reach 30 days past due, our District Manager records the movies as "Stolen" to the account, which places the full value of that movie to the renter. Basically, do nothing for 30 days, and you're buying it. I told her about it and received one of the biggest sob stories in all of history.
She told me that she was, at that very moment, packing up the house because she was leaving her husband. But, he was not aware that she was leaving. She told me how she packed up the TV, and the DVD player, and all that stuff. She cut him out of pictures and burned photos and couldn't stand the fact that he was seeing someone else now. I told her that I was truly sorry about what she was going through, and told her that I just wanted the company's movies back. As she continued, I leafed through the log of past calls, only to be met with a recorded history of all the lame excuses that she had given in the past. Not sure where they were - 10 days late. Gave them to a family member to watch - 15 days late. Swears she returned them - 20 days late. Will return them when she isn't working so much - 22 days late. I started typing in the log: "Leaving husband under the veil of night without his knowledge, doesn't want to be inconsiderate and ask him to look for the movies while the divorce is getting settled." Before I could get to "veil of night", she told me that she probably wouldn't find the movies. I told her what would happen next.
The district manager would process everything in the computer, turning the titles over to the renter and charging appropriately. The next time the person attempted to rent a movie or buy anything at all, a message would flash on the register notifying the clerk that said person owed a bunch of money for a stolen movie. Before anything could be taken by the delinquent renter, the full amount for the movie MUST be paid. No exceptions. If the person never came in to pay, the police would be notified that a movie was stolen from the video store, and then they'd act appropriately.
She told me she had to leave, and that she couldn't leave any trace behind. I wished her luck, and she said that she was halfway in the car and had to leave. I gave her a reminder. "Umm... don't forget to at least erase the answering machine." She asked me why she'd have to worry about the machine. "Well, we just recorded a big long conversation about how you don't want your husband to know that you left. You told me where you were headed, why, and when. You might want to get rid of the evidence." She was speechless.
A week later, she came in and tried to open a new account. She was hand and hand with her husband, who rents a lot of movies. I recognized her last name, pulled up her account, and saw the $125 charge to her account for all the movies she had stolen. Being the wiseguy I am, I took the movies she had picked out and quizzed her on them. I asked her if she had seen a movie, and what she thought about it. (Wild Hogs, which was on the list of stolen movies.) She claimed that she had never seen it. I showed her the screen, told her she couldn't rent from the store until the fine was paid off, or the movies were returned. I added that I was glad she got everything worked out with her husband, and that she could now try to find the $125 in movies she owed. She blushed, and admitted that she had been, *GASP!*, lying about the divorce. (Can you believe that?) I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that we just wanted our property back. She went home and got them. Problem solved. No purged amount, just some late fees.
Other people have claimed that they've given movies to friends, and that the "friends" have already returned them. One guy in particular is notoriously bad at returning movies, so he had his friend rent an expensive video game for him. Imagine the friend's surprise when he got called for a 10 day late fee on the game. "But Jason said he returned it!" We told him about the 12 outstanding movies and games that Jason had out, and how his account had been suspended for excessive late fees. Ever wonder why he had you rent the game for him? Hmmm....
Well, 30 days after that, Jason still had the game. Jason was supposed to get a visit from the cops. Jason got scared and returned the movie. Good move. People still don't understand that if they agree to something under their account that they are liable for it. Your name is on the movie, and its your responsibility. Its one thing to be late now and then, because life happens. There's not always time to watch a movie or bring it back. But for those people that never bring them back... that's a serious problem. Where's the responsibility? And some of these people have kids! Do they just not feed their kids when they don't want to? Or do they forget to? Its a sad, sad thing to deal with, and I'm tired of hearing one lame excuse after another.
Just do what the contract says
I really started to hate late fees when I stepped behind the video counter and started working as an employee. As a "friendly reminder" I have to regularly call those people with long outstanding videos. (I think its 10 days and up.) The objective is to get back the company property so that someone else can take it home and enjoy it. Plus, you don't want someone to borrow something of yours for $1 and keep it indefinitely. That's just taking advantage of the renter, and immoral.
I look at retail transactions in a very complicated light. By giving a company money, I'm engaging in a contract with them. Yes, its an unspoken contract, but a necessary one. In exchange for money, (which is indirectly my hard work in providing the people of Meadville with quality entertainment...), I'm getting some service or product that is high quality. (Yes, even at Taco Bell.) That means that I'll adhere to the terms and conditions of the company within reason, but won't overstep my bounds. At fast food places, that means that my food will be disease-free, tasty, and the appropriate temperature. Anything outside of that, and we're going to have words. Both sides should have expectations from the other member in the contract, and that's what keeps this crazy capitalism thing going.
Well, in the world of video renting, there are guidelines for how long you can rent movies. In our store, $1 gets you most movies for 5 nights. Any longer and you get charged. (An additional dollar for an additional 5 nights.) Fair enough, right? That's the agreement you enter into. We give you a movie for a period of time, you give us money. Not hard, right? Well, apparently it is for some people.
There have been an average of 30 calls per night for people with outstanding movies of a significant time frame. (Significant = 10 or more days.) This actually means that more than 45 calls have to be made, as the accounts have 2 phone numbers that can be used to try to contact the renters. Majority of the people who reach the 10 night plateau give false information or get their cell phones cancelled due to failure to pay the bill, (which the message is sure to inform us when we try to call.) But, once in awhile, we are able to talk to the culprit / culprits.
I called a woman last week and told her that her movies were 25 days late. She picked the phone up at the same time as the answering machine, so I'm sure that every word of our conversation was recorded. I told her who I was, and why I was calling. After late movies reach 30 days past due, our District Manager records the movies as "Stolen" to the account, which places the full value of that movie to the renter. Basically, do nothing for 30 days, and you're buying it. I told her about it and received one of the biggest sob stories in all of history.
She told me that she was, at that very moment, packing up the house because she was leaving her husband. But, he was not aware that she was leaving. She told me how she packed up the TV, and the DVD player, and all that stuff. She cut him out of pictures and burned photos and couldn't stand the fact that he was seeing someone else now. I told her that I was truly sorry about what she was going through, and told her that I just wanted the company's movies back. As she continued, I leafed through the log of past calls, only to be met with a recorded history of all the lame excuses that she had given in the past. Not sure where they were - 10 days late. Gave them to a family member to watch - 15 days late. Swears she returned them - 20 days late. Will return them when she isn't working so much - 22 days late. I started typing in the log: "Leaving husband under the veil of night without his knowledge, doesn't want to be inconsiderate and ask him to look for the movies while the divorce is getting settled." Before I could get to "veil of night", she told me that she probably wouldn't find the movies. I told her what would happen next.
The district manager would process everything in the computer, turning the titles over to the renter and charging appropriately. The next time the person attempted to rent a movie or buy anything at all, a message would flash on the register notifying the clerk that said person owed a bunch of money for a stolen movie. Before anything could be taken by the delinquent renter, the full amount for the movie MUST be paid. No exceptions. If the person never came in to pay, the police would be notified that a movie was stolen from the video store, and then they'd act appropriately.
She told me she had to leave, and that she couldn't leave any trace behind. I wished her luck, and she said that she was halfway in the car and had to leave. I gave her a reminder. "Umm... don't forget to at least erase the answering machine." She asked me why she'd have to worry about the machine. "Well, we just recorded a big long conversation about how you don't want your husband to know that you left. You told me where you were headed, why, and when. You might want to get rid of the evidence." She was speechless.
A week later, she came in and tried to open a new account. She was hand and hand with her husband, who rents a lot of movies. I recognized her last name, pulled up her account, and saw the $125 charge to her account for all the movies she had stolen. Being the wiseguy I am, I took the movies she had picked out and quizzed her on them. I asked her if she had seen a movie, and what she thought about it. (Wild Hogs, which was on the list of stolen movies.) She claimed that she had never seen it. I showed her the screen, told her she couldn't rent from the store until the fine was paid off, or the movies were returned. I added that I was glad she got everything worked out with her husband, and that she could now try to find the $125 in movies she owed. She blushed, and admitted that she had been, *GASP!*, lying about the divorce. (Can you believe that?) I told her that it wasn't a big deal, and that we just wanted our property back. She went home and got them. Problem solved. No purged amount, just some late fees.
Other people have claimed that they've given movies to friends, and that the "friends" have already returned them. One guy in particular is notoriously bad at returning movies, so he had his friend rent an expensive video game for him. Imagine the friend's surprise when he got called for a 10 day late fee on the game. "But Jason said he returned it!" We told him about the 12 outstanding movies and games that Jason had out, and how his account had been suspended for excessive late fees. Ever wonder why he had you rent the game for him? Hmmm....
Well, 30 days after that, Jason still had the game. Jason was supposed to get a visit from the cops. Jason got scared and returned the movie. Good move. People still don't understand that if they agree to something under their account that they are liable for it. Your name is on the movie, and its your responsibility. Its one thing to be late now and then, because life happens. There's not always time to watch a movie or bring it back. But for those people that never bring them back... that's a serious problem. Where's the responsibility? And some of these people have kids! Do they just not feed their kids when they don't want to? Or do they forget to? Its a sad, sad thing to deal with, and I'm tired of hearing one lame excuse after another.
Just do what the contract says
Thursday, October 4, 2007
The Joys of Customer Service
As a college graduate, I work at a video store. This would frustrate many people, myself included, but I can still function. I'm not getting pulled down or slowly becoming insecure about my abilities. See, I'm a full blown optimist in times like these, and I'm only seeing improvements in all possible categories: Job satisfaction, utility, significance of work, income, etc.
This retail job has perks. Video rentals are 1/2 price, unless you're an amazing employee like me, who gets rentals for the next month completely free. But there's also opportunities to make extra money in the form of commissions. Help a customer save money with one of our many deals or movie packages, get a dollar. How cool is that? A reward for someone who looks out for others. But the best perk of all isn't mentioned in any handbook or training video or company mandated seminar. By the time I'm done, I'll have volumes of stories about the people that visit our store. Notice, I didn't refer to them as "customers", since many of the people come in to family video just to hang out. Or talk to someone. Or just watch the free movies that play on the 14 TVs around the store.
If you've read my past blogs about Lafayette, IN, you know that I can't stand the place. And for me, the geography means nothing. In fact, the deciding factor about a place is its people, its spirit, and the culture surrounding it. Perhaps Lafayette got screwed since I started in Cleveland. It has the Rock Hall, museums for art and science, sports teams, and it's residents have an air of confidence about them, despite the city's nickname of "The Mistake on the Lake." People truly love Cleveland. Lafayette... well, not so much. No unity, no pride, no culture. Just chain restaurants, spread out communities, and Purdue University in the middle. Now Meadville has two very distinctive cultures: The college crowd and the townsfolk. And the two are miles apart in terms of their attitudes.
The most noticeable difference is education. Higher education institutions are likely to attract more intelligent and book-learned people. The townsfolk don't really have these attributes. I can go on and on about the differences, but mainly the college crowd has more structure, discipline, pride, and confidence than the others. And its all a product of their past failures and successes. I have the feeling that not many of the Meadvillian lifers have had many successes, for whatever reason.
Let me make this blatantly clear: I like Meadville so far. And I like the people from both distinctive classes. I am, however, biased towards the college crowd since they are the most like me. So when I see the other group do something that I don't agree with, or find strange, I don't immediately add it to my list of things that I dislike about the other group. I just rack it up as a one-time occurrence of an individual that happens to be in that group. And I can make that difference because of how personal and intimate this environment is. People go out of their way to say "hello" to other people. They aren't afraid of interaction. Its really nice.
The whole point of this is to point out some of the craziness I've had at the video store, in just about the most roundabout, long-winded way I know how. So, let's cut to the chase.
We have a regular customer who rents a LOT of movies at one time. She's probably in her mid-30's, and she's a very likable person. But she's the stereotypical blond: All looks, no logic. She claims she never had a use for books or school, or anything like that. When she visits the store, she immediately asks about the movies that were recently released, which will drive a busy store employee nuts. (Basically, a guided tour around the store describing everything that's on the back of the movie box.) I overheard her asking someone the other day if they had seen a movie. "Az-alum. Have you seen it?" I scratched my head. I had never heard of that movie before. Az-alum? I walked over to where she was standing, and saw the movie title: Asylum. Like a mental ward. Oh boy.
This is something we run into a lot. People don't quite know what they're looking for, or sometimes how to pronounce it. But, as long as they're in the ballpark, we can deal with it. Perhaps that's why such a menial job requires a high level of problem solving skills.
A teenager came up to me the other day and asked if we had a game in stock for rental. (He didn't ask in that sophisticated of a manner, for the record.) He said he was looking for the game "Metalpod." I'm pretty savvy when it comes to video games, as I pride myself on my hand/eye coordination and have played my fair share of video games in the past... and present. So Metalpod didn't ring a bell. I told him that there wasn't a game called Metalpod. He insisted there was. "METALPOD! ITS CALLED METALPOD!" he said. I looked in the computer again. Nothing. I showed him the screen. No freakin Metalpod. I told him to go get the box for the game he wanted. He ran back to the game room, and gave me the box.
It was for METROID. Not metalpod. I pointed it out to him. Just to let you know, you can't name something in your head and expect other people to know about it. That's why there's a label and a title to things. I could call that book about the whale "Whale hunter man" but no one will know what I'm talking about until I call it "Moby Dick." See how that works?
So I have to constantly adjust my thinking to decipher what people want. It took me a solid day to figure out that "Road Hogs" was actually people looking for John Travolta's "Wild Hogs." The Potter? You mean Harry Potter. Asking about "The Four Surfers Movie?" You want the Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. And any combination of 4 numbers? (Like 1813?) Chances are good that they want "1408", the new Stephen King horror movie.
I propose that I get a dollar for every movie I find for someone with a mispronunciation or crazy title that's given to me. If that happened, I'd be able to retire by next Friday.
We also had something happen the other night which was a bit disconcerning. A lady walked in with 3-4 little kids, who just ran amok in the video store. This is a nightmare for someone who has to keep things in order. Add the fact that many of the movies are just barely perched on their ledges, and that's a recipe for disaster. So movies are off the shelf, in the middle of the floor, and placed on wrong shelves. But that's nothing. Apparently, one of the little girls "had an accident" on the floor in the middle of the store. Yes, a human child peed on the floor of the video store. With an audience. And someone had to clean it up. I'm not a parent, but if my kid peed on someone else's floor, I'd clean it up for them. But no. She left in a hurry, and pointed out that there was a smelly puddle o' urine on the carpet. Her advice: "Just get a paper towel, and step on it to pull out the stain."
Wow. Is this an indicator that I need a new job? Because I think so. While I'm a great alphabetizer, (and at making up words!), jumbled title figure-outer, and child pee extractor, I don't find pride or satisfaction from those activities. But I'll do them, because that's what we need right now until something else comes along. Until them, I'll record them here just to keep my mind sharp and perhaps to get a little chuckle out of whoever manages to read this. Believe me: there will be more. There already IS more. But I have to watch my free movies now. Next up: Martin Scorsese's award-winning "The Departations" and the story about Sparta, "450". (The townsfolk recommended those ones.)
This retail job has perks. Video rentals are 1/2 price, unless you're an amazing employee like me, who gets rentals for the next month completely free. But there's also opportunities to make extra money in the form of commissions. Help a customer save money with one of our many deals or movie packages, get a dollar. How cool is that? A reward for someone who looks out for others. But the best perk of all isn't mentioned in any handbook or training video or company mandated seminar. By the time I'm done, I'll have volumes of stories about the people that visit our store. Notice, I didn't refer to them as "customers", since many of the people come in to family video just to hang out. Or talk to someone. Or just watch the free movies that play on the 14 TVs around the store.
If you've read my past blogs about Lafayette, IN, you know that I can't stand the place. And for me, the geography means nothing. In fact, the deciding factor about a place is its people, its spirit, and the culture surrounding it. Perhaps Lafayette got screwed since I started in Cleveland. It has the Rock Hall, museums for art and science, sports teams, and it's residents have an air of confidence about them, despite the city's nickname of "The Mistake on the Lake." People truly love Cleveland. Lafayette... well, not so much. No unity, no pride, no culture. Just chain restaurants, spread out communities, and Purdue University in the middle. Now Meadville has two very distinctive cultures: The college crowd and the townsfolk. And the two are miles apart in terms of their attitudes.
The most noticeable difference is education. Higher education institutions are likely to attract more intelligent and book-learned people. The townsfolk don't really have these attributes. I can go on and on about the differences, but mainly the college crowd has more structure, discipline, pride, and confidence than the others. And its all a product of their past failures and successes. I have the feeling that not many of the Meadvillian lifers have had many successes, for whatever reason.
Let me make this blatantly clear: I like Meadville so far. And I like the people from both distinctive classes. I am, however, biased towards the college crowd since they are the most like me. So when I see the other group do something that I don't agree with, or find strange, I don't immediately add it to my list of things that I dislike about the other group. I just rack it up as a one-time occurrence of an individual that happens to be in that group. And I can make that difference because of how personal and intimate this environment is. People go out of their way to say "hello" to other people. They aren't afraid of interaction. Its really nice.
The whole point of this is to point out some of the craziness I've had at the video store, in just about the most roundabout, long-winded way I know how. So, let's cut to the chase.
We have a regular customer who rents a LOT of movies at one time. She's probably in her mid-30's, and she's a very likable person. But she's the stereotypical blond: All looks, no logic. She claims she never had a use for books or school, or anything like that. When she visits the store, she immediately asks about the movies that were recently released, which will drive a busy store employee nuts. (Basically, a guided tour around the store describing everything that's on the back of the movie box.) I overheard her asking someone the other day if they had seen a movie. "Az-alum. Have you seen it?" I scratched my head. I had never heard of that movie before. Az-alum? I walked over to where she was standing, and saw the movie title: Asylum. Like a mental ward. Oh boy.
This is something we run into a lot. People don't quite know what they're looking for, or sometimes how to pronounce it. But, as long as they're in the ballpark, we can deal with it. Perhaps that's why such a menial job requires a high level of problem solving skills.
A teenager came up to me the other day and asked if we had a game in stock for rental. (He didn't ask in that sophisticated of a manner, for the record.) He said he was looking for the game "Metalpod." I'm pretty savvy when it comes to video games, as I pride myself on my hand/eye coordination and have played my fair share of video games in the past... and present. So Metalpod didn't ring a bell. I told him that there wasn't a game called Metalpod. He insisted there was. "METALPOD! ITS CALLED METALPOD!" he said. I looked in the computer again. Nothing. I showed him the screen. No freakin Metalpod. I told him to go get the box for the game he wanted. He ran back to the game room, and gave me the box.
It was for METROID. Not metalpod. I pointed it out to him. Just to let you know, you can't name something in your head and expect other people to know about it. That's why there's a label and a title to things. I could call that book about the whale "Whale hunter man" but no one will know what I'm talking about until I call it "Moby Dick." See how that works?
So I have to constantly adjust my thinking to decipher what people want. It took me a solid day to figure out that "Road Hogs" was actually people looking for John Travolta's "Wild Hogs." The Potter? You mean Harry Potter. Asking about "The Four Surfers Movie?" You want the Fantastic 4: Rise of the Silver Surfer. And any combination of 4 numbers? (Like 1813?) Chances are good that they want "1408", the new Stephen King horror movie.
I propose that I get a dollar for every movie I find for someone with a mispronunciation or crazy title that's given to me. If that happened, I'd be able to retire by next Friday.
We also had something happen the other night which was a bit disconcerning. A lady walked in with 3-4 little kids, who just ran amok in the video store. This is a nightmare for someone who has to keep things in order. Add the fact that many of the movies are just barely perched on their ledges, and that's a recipe for disaster. So movies are off the shelf, in the middle of the floor, and placed on wrong shelves. But that's nothing. Apparently, one of the little girls "had an accident" on the floor in the middle of the store. Yes, a human child peed on the floor of the video store. With an audience. And someone had to clean it up. I'm not a parent, but if my kid peed on someone else's floor, I'd clean it up for them. But no. She left in a hurry, and pointed out that there was a smelly puddle o' urine on the carpet. Her advice: "Just get a paper towel, and step on it to pull out the stain."
Wow. Is this an indicator that I need a new job? Because I think so. While I'm a great alphabetizer, (and at making up words!), jumbled title figure-outer, and child pee extractor, I don't find pride or satisfaction from those activities. But I'll do them, because that's what we need right now until something else comes along. Until them, I'll record them here just to keep my mind sharp and perhaps to get a little chuckle out of whoever manages to read this. Believe me: there will be more. There already IS more. But I have to watch my free movies now. Next up: Martin Scorsese's award-winning "The Departations" and the story about Sparta, "450". (The townsfolk recommended those ones.)
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