Hiatus Broken

Over 1 month and no blogging. I know, I know. I've been trying to make this thing called "a living." Sadly, its far from my dream job.

No one goes to college to eventually become a video store clerk. Most of the skills for such a position are obtained between Kindergarten and 4th grade. If not perfected by then, these skills are offered in a repeat of said grades. If you've ever wondered what goes into being a video jockey, then allow me to give you some insight.

You need a command of the alphabet. Occasionally, people bring back videos, which need to be placed back on the shelves in a meaningful fashion. Since the Dewey Decimal system would be WAY too complicated for some people who make minimum wage, some genius decided that alphabetizing them would be sufficient enough. In order to master this aspect of a video clerk's responsibilities, one must be able to place an item in its correct place without singing the Alphabet song. (Which is the same tune as "Twinkle Twinkle Little Star", if you weren't aware.)

Also required is basic cash handling skills. Since there are only 3 price points, your change always ends in a few possible outcomes. (either .19, .25, or .45) There is a bit of variety, but in my time at the store I've found that these 3 outcomes are used over 95% of the time. Every now and then someone will get .98 in change, which throws everything into disorder as the cashier scrambles for 3 quarters, 2 dimes and 3 pennies. But that's as bad as it gets.

The final necessary element is aiming the cash register's scanner at the bar code. Believe it or not, some people can't aim the wide red light at the bar code, which causes an error. But, for tracking purposes and racking up late fees, this is an essential part of the operation.

That's about it. Yes, I push Hollywood movies temporarily onto others. I give suggestions and sell popcorn to them. I restock their movies and call them to tell them that their movies are late or missing or now considered stolen. Its not glamorous, exciting, or fulfilling. But it pays more than perfecting the buttocks indentation on the couch and watching Dr. Phil all day. So, I can get my bills paid. Hurray!

But job satisfaction is at an all time low. My co-workers are a great group of people, made up mostly of students from the local college. Of course, they're not going to be in these positions forever, as they will one day move on to a real job. Hopefully, I'll get to leave before they do. Its not that I hate my job. I just have much more to offer than my knowledge that P comes before Q and a good taste in movies.

I also have a problem with some of the movies that we offer to the customers. There is an Adult section, which is by far the bane of my existence. What's more awkward than having someone bring up a porn film to rent? Oh, wait... I know... someone bringing up a HUGE stack of porn films, thus planning out their entire week. Its really kind of sad to see, especially when someone mixes in kids' movies with them. Would someone really watch a marathon of Spongebob and transition into "Hitchhiking Teens" volumes 4-24? (We don't have volumes 1-3, so the continuity is all messed up. I bet it really upsets the people trying to follow the plot.)

So I'm not proud of it, but it beats the alternative of doing nothing. Plus, I"m getting recognized for what I'm doing. Apparently I've got that alphabet and scanner aiming thing down. That'll look good on a resume, right?

-Strong oral and written skills
-Amazing sense of humor
-Stunningly handsome, chiseled features
-Crackshot with a retail scanner gun

More to come, including how to give amazing customer service to an amazingly irresponsible customer base. Or, "How I got to conduct late calls to people with movies missing for over 25 days, and their amazing excuses."