Dear Reggae Artists of the World,
I realize that what you do takes skill, dedication, and spirit, yet I can't help but ask you this question: What the hell are you saying?
I can distinctly make out the steel drums and your catchy club-thumping beats. I can make out parts of your chorus, but that's all. Ask me to decipher something from your verses. Hold me at gunpoint and make me recite the words you've "sung". I can't do it. No amount of pressure could help me. Is it English? Or is Reggae officially a completely independent language? Why is this news to me?
Creativity isn't something that comes easy in this life. The same holds true for hard work. Pairing the two together is, as you'd imagine, an even greater rarity. That is why both are devoid of existence in your genre of music. Let me inform you as to why this is so. For greater clarity, I will address issues with some of your more popular "artists" and their styles.
Reggae typically features a rhyming scheme. But typically the rhymes are facilitated by altering words so they magically sound alike. Singers like Rihanna will make words like "umbrella" and "other" come together. How? By changing the end of the word. Umbrelluh. Othuh. Forevuh. Come on, really. Don't be surprised when you get hit by a tomatuh. Don't pass it off as an accent either.
While we're at it, "eh" is not a lyric. Nor is moaning. It's true that the 2000's don't have the most insightful lyrics when compared to its elders, but Reggae is comprised of a LOT of nonsensical gibberish. How about this gem from "Little Miss Sunshine" herself. Ladies and gentlemen, Rihanna.
"Umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh eh eh eh eh." That's a line. She wrote that as a lyric. If you're going to use any expression like "eh" or "ey", you better damn well be named James Brown. And you had better mean it. James was the Godfather of Soul for a reason: He didn't say "eh", he said "EEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" and you knew what he meant by it.
I don't want to totally eclipse all the Reggae performers with this letter. Its true that Bob Marley was one of the greatest musicians who ever lived. But that's because Bob brought people together. He sang for causes, and people understood what he was singing about. It wasn't about having the "right temperature to shelter you from the storm" (since Sean Paul is such a great HVAC guy. He hooked up my central air conditioning.), or being suicidal from seeing too many beautiful girls. (because they only wanna do you dirrrrrr...Thanks Sean Kingston!).
All I'm saying is, can you be more coherent? Even Nirvana got the marbles out of their mouth for a FEW songs. And how about some substance? Do Bob proud and sing about something worthwhile. Isn't that what Reggae is all about?
Oh, wait. Its about smoking pot? Oh. Then it all makes sense. Disregard guys! Carry on, good job, and don't forget your eye drops and Cheetos. And stay the hell off of my lawn.
-Matt
I realize that what you do takes skill, dedication, and spirit, yet I can't help but ask you this question: What the hell are you saying?
I can distinctly make out the steel drums and your catchy club-thumping beats. I can make out parts of your chorus, but that's all. Ask me to decipher something from your verses. Hold me at gunpoint and make me recite the words you've "sung". I can't do it. No amount of pressure could help me. Is it English? Or is Reggae officially a completely independent language? Why is this news to me?
Creativity isn't something that comes easy in this life. The same holds true for hard work. Pairing the two together is, as you'd imagine, an even greater rarity. That is why both are devoid of existence in your genre of music. Let me inform you as to why this is so. For greater clarity, I will address issues with some of your more popular "artists" and their styles.
Reggae typically features a rhyming scheme. But typically the rhymes are facilitated by altering words so they magically sound alike. Singers like Rihanna will make words like "umbrella" and "other" come together. How? By changing the end of the word. Umbrelluh. Othuh. Forevuh. Come on, really. Don't be surprised when you get hit by a tomatuh. Don't pass it off as an accent either.
While we're at it, "eh" is not a lyric. Nor is moaning. It's true that the 2000's don't have the most insightful lyrics when compared to its elders, but Reggae is comprised of a LOT of nonsensical gibberish. How about this gem from "Little Miss Sunshine" herself. Ladies and gentlemen, Rihanna.
"Umbrella, ella, ella, eh, eh eh eh eh eh." That's a line. She wrote that as a lyric. If you're going to use any expression like "eh" or "ey", you better damn well be named James Brown. And you had better mean it. James was the Godfather of Soul for a reason: He didn't say "eh", he said "EEEEEEHHHHHHHHH!" and you knew what he meant by it.
I don't want to totally eclipse all the Reggae performers with this letter. Its true that Bob Marley was one of the greatest musicians who ever lived. But that's because Bob brought people together. He sang for causes, and people understood what he was singing about. It wasn't about having the "right temperature to shelter you from the storm" (since Sean Paul is such a great HVAC guy. He hooked up my central air conditioning.), or being suicidal from seeing too many beautiful girls. (because they only wanna do you dirrrrrr...Thanks Sean Kingston!).
All I'm saying is, can you be more coherent? Even Nirvana got the marbles out of their mouth for a FEW songs. And how about some substance? Do Bob proud and sing about something worthwhile. Isn't that what Reggae is all about?
Oh, wait. Its about smoking pot? Oh. Then it all makes sense. Disregard guys! Carry on, good job, and don't forget your eye drops and Cheetos. And stay the hell off of my lawn.
-Matt
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