Desperation From a Giant

Today was pretty boring. I pulled a few hooks out of the wall. There were a few TV shows on, but nothing that was blog-worthy. I decided to do something bold: I went out into the community. (Ok, it was just for lunch. I was hungry. Sue me.) With only a few dollars in my wallet, I quickly ruled out being anything but a dollar menu superstar. (I was really considering going to The Whole Darn Thing Sub Shop, which is really good for a local sub shop.)

When you're hungry in Meadville there's only one road you need to visit: Park Avenue. Park is home of just about every fast food place in creation. I took a quick drive down the street just to take in the options. Arbys, Long John Silvers, Subway, blah. Then, I saw the arches. It had been awhile since I'd had McDonalds. I always considered a craving for Mickey D's as a sign that my body secretly hated me, but I decided to indulge this time. Plus, a Big Mac Extra Value meal was only $3.99. It basically sells itself.

I've seen plenty of strange things on McDonald's menu. The McRib. The MDP, (which was named after Browns' Defensive Lineman Michael Dean Perry. It was 3 burgers, tons of bacon, and enough cheese to tide a Wisconsin resident over for a month. Nasty.) McDonald's even had pizza and burritos at one point. (And lobster in Maine!) But what I saw today totally baffled my mind.

The McBag of Ice.


No, really. Its a bag of ice. Now low bad does McDonald's quarterly earnings have to be for them to start selling ice? How long until they start selling McStacks of napkins? Or Mc-2ply toilet paper? I asked one of the employees about the sign, but only got a partial response. It was something about people always asking for more ice. Like someone is going to order a cheeseburger with a side of ice.

I can only imagine that this is extraordinary ice. The nutritional values are probably unusually high in sodium and fat, and probably don't provide significant amounts of any vitamins or minerals. It is most likely the only ice that could lead to a corinary. Right.

Lesson learned: If you're bored in Meadville, drive around. You're bound to find something to break the monotony.